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, hows that for a loaded question? The answer is not as simple as you would like it to be but hey, when it comes to relationships, I am sure that you would have already figured that complex part out by now. Being friends with your ex is not a bad thing but then again, not a great idea either. Naturally, it goes without saying that you need to figure out your need to be friends with your ex. Do you have an ulterior motive or do you actually prefer to be friends with your ex as opposed to hunting out for new people to become friends with? There is no single answer to this question , but do read on, you may be able to figure it out by yourself.
Any breakup is bound to leave the concerned parties [meaning you] with a bitter taste in the mouth. So why on earth would you want a relationship, even a platonic one at that with the very person who caused your heart to literally break. The after break up is a time for introspection and some serious analysis, if you are planning to move on. The one reason that we, as humans tend to be friends with others is that we enjoy their company, have things in common and can get where the other person comes from. Could it be that you are still able to enjoy the company of your ex despite the breakup? Or perhaps, you both share the same taste in entertainment and naturally, have more in common with each other than you do with anyone else? Like I said, you need to figure out the following
1. The motivation for being friends with your ex Is it on account of the fact that you are too lazy to go hunting out for new friends and prefer the old one [your ex]. Or could it be on account of the fact that you are still holding on to high hopes of getting back with her? If it is the former, then you have nothing to fear, but do remember that being friends with your ex may not exactly be balm for your soul, you must be able to handle the fact that your ex dates other guys now. If it is the later, then you need to know that just being friends with her does not guarantee that you would get back with her and yes, you will find it difficult to handle the issue of her dating again. Both the choices are going to be a bit hard to swallow, so figure it out.
2. The relationship Being friends with your ex does not mean that you have the same rights as before [while being together]. Of course, you do not get invites to sleepovers, Duh! And other than that, do not expect her to go into intimate details of her dating encounters with you or for that matter, expect her to confide everything to you. There are certain barriers and you must learn to respect that if you intend on being friends with your ex.
3. The comfort zone Being friends with your ex could mean that you no longer need to search high and low for new people to find common ground with. For one, your ex knows all about your likes/dislikes and vice-versa. So being friends with your ex can actually be a good thing if that is all you are looking for in this relationship.
Like I said, being friends with the ex is sort of like a double-edged sword, in more ways than one. This is one issue that you really need to sleep on before coming to a decision. Just remember, that friendship is built on trust, so it is up to you to maintain that trust!
